The Cardianl Experience


 

My Cardinal Journey
Where Life After Death is About Living in Hope.

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Acceptance is the key element in healing grief. It is the cardinal crossing in the journey of grief, or so that's what I what I have been reading and what my counselor has been trying so hard to get across to me. But how do we come to accept what we do not want and did not ask for? How do I make myself accept something as terrible and painful as loss? Read More...

Swords Down

Acceptance is the key element in healing grief. It is the cardinal crossing in the journey of grief, or so that's what I what I have been reading and what my counselor has been trying so hard to get across to me. But how do we come to accept what we do not want and did not ask for? How do I make myself accept something as terrible and painful as loss? Read More...

Healing Hands for Cara

I woke up Sunday morning feeling the cool air of our first autumn morning. It was a welcome change from the high nineties here in central Florida, but as invigorating as the weather was, for some reason, I did not feel good. I felt a little faint and my stomach was in turmoil again. What if it was the flu? Maybe I should stay home and not go to church after all. Was I really sick, or was it something else?  Read More...

This Day That Date

I had already gone to bed and my cell phone was still in my purse in the other room when my good friend and agent, Kenneth Mancel called the other night. By the time I got to it, the call had already gone to the message center. I sunk back knowing the call center was full. I have not picked up my messages for... OMG it's been over three weeks now!  Read More...

Time in the Zone

I spoke with my counselor, Larissa at hospice today. It's hard to believe that it has only been four months since we met. My life has changed so dramatically in such a short time. In some ways, it seems like a life time ago, although I am still experiencing those instantaneous, deja vu moments when it all suddenly feels like it just happened. Makes me wonder, could the experience of loss have something to do with our perception of time? Read More...

Adopting a New View

A month before I began this project, my trusted old PC partner was diagnosed as unrecoverable. It seemed at this point like everything in my life was giving out on me. Two months before my husband died, my cat, El passed on. Now my PC, what next? My daughter was sympathetic, but understandably preoccupied with her own difficulties. Her house was still without floors, and her kitchen had just been demolished following the latest pipe bursting episode. Read More...

The Cookie Tin

Something strange occurred last night. I was awakened again at three a.m. and this time it was due to stomach pain. I got up and headed for the bathroom but started feeling dizzy so I thought I had better lay down as soon as possible. When I came to, I was lying on the floor drenched in a cold sweat. I was clearly shaken. Fortunately I was able to crawl back into bed. When I woke up this morning the pain was gone, but I was still shaken by the odd event, which was suddenly overshadowed by the dream. Read More...

Cardinal in Blue

Just spoke to Mom. No mention of a counselor yet, but she sounds in good spirits. She told me she just received a card from Coach Shula. Years ago, my mother had been Shula's late wife's friend and counselor. The card she explained, was an anniversary card. For eighteen years now she has been a water aerobics instructor at Shula's club in Miami Lakes. She began attending a class there a year after her hard won recovery from breast cancer. Before long, she was teaching it, and at age eighty-one, she is still actively instructing. Read More...

Of Strength & Bones

It's three a.m., and as I cannot fall back to sleep I decided this is as good of time as any to continue my blog. I spent twelve hours creating a template and trying to figure out the technical aspects of setting up a blog on Dreamweaver today. Then I discovered the whole thing was available instantly on my new Mac. Who knew? It was all very frustrating, but the good news is I can soon begin posting this live. Read More...

A Cardinal Warning

As I fell asleep last night, I couldn't help wondering what would happen next. Now that I finally got the message, is the cardinal's job is done? Do they move on to the next person, or do they stick around for a while to make sure everything is okay? It didn't take long to receive an answer, at six a.m. I was startled from my sleep. The bird was at my bedroom window, with a call that seemed even louder than usual. I gathered from his presence, that he had decided to stay for a while longer. Although why he chose six a.m. to let me know this, I could not imagine. Read More...

Ghost Towns & Treasures

One of the first things that attracted me to the little townhouse, where I now reside, was the church bells. The first time the Realtor showed it to me, I could hear them ringing just down the street. They reminded me of my early childhood in Italy, and of our last home on the Florida Treasure Coast. Jack I lived our last dream in a beautiful Mediterranean style condo called the Renaissance. Read More...

Lifting the Spirit

It's hard to believe the difference that a single week can make. Just a week ago, my heart felt so heavy it was an effort to get out of bed in the morning. Seven days is not a long period of time, which makes me wonder, is it really time that makes the difference, or is it the experiences that take place in a given period that make the difference? I lean towards the latter, as it was definitely an experience that made all the difference for me. Then again, the timing was cardinal. Read More...

On Red Wings to Heaven

Three months ago, to this very day, my husband, Jack passed away in a hospice care center. Until today, I have been unable to write so much as an email. The circumstances have been to say the least, difficult, as I'm sure you can imagine. At any rate, while I am trying my best to understand and accept the process of grieving, there has been one unanswerable question that has continued to plague me, why have I not heard from my husband since his death? Read More...
 
 

 

 


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