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red as gram
yes I see you!!
I am so glad that I found this page to share my cardinal experience. It has kept me in touch with my grandma for the past 10 years...and I have never felt more comfort than when I first receieved a sign from her. She died in June 2004, and I took it particularly hard. Gram was the one person who loved me and got me no matter what. I was mourning her gone from this world, and was in a bit of a state with my kids driving me crazy and my saddness so overwhelming. I went into my bedroom for a self imposed time out, and I cried and cried as I sat looking out the window. It was pouring rain, huge gushes that made my crying feel damn good and okay. The rain seemed to go with how I felt. The window in my room was open. It was summer after all, and I smelt the rain come down, echoing my feelings. As I sat there missing my gram, I started to hear a noise. A bird singing. It sang and sang. I got up from my mourning, and went to the window to peer out. There on the fence was a cardinal, being pelted by the rain, and singing. Singing singing singing. And in that moment I knew that Gram was right there. Right there with me. Telling me to feel the rain but keep on singing. This was when she became my sign as a cardinal.

Over the course of ten years now, Gram has come to me. Often times it has been like a needle to have her appear, and for the most part, it has been to make me know she's around. Of the many times that I have to mention, I want to share the most bizarre to indicate how I've gotten to a place of understanding that I'm not imagining this! There has been many moments where perhaps I've wanted a sign, but it has been in the moments when I wasn't looking or hoping that I have come to realize she visits me.

Three years after my gram died, my grandpa did too. He was old, and this wasn't completely unexpected. But the day he died I had my gram cardinal sing to me in the firebush. She just sang, like she always does, and I didn't make too much of it. But the next day, when I awoke to a call that my pop had died, I was surprised. As I sat at the kitchen table, stunned from the news, I was numb. I have a birdfeeder on the window that no cardinal had ever vistited. A couple of house finches and sparrows, but that's it. So as I sat there a female(the brown one)landed. It didn't peck at the food. It sat and looked at me. And then it started pecking the window with a mad "take notice of me" energy. Three years after I had gram as my cardinal sign, here was pop, her opposite, and all I could do was stare. Somehow this was weird and right. I still try to make sense of it. I have come to see many of my sightings as things I can't explain, and deep down, I feel comfort from the strangeness and weirdness of it all. Somehow, that bird made me get through and get on with it. But I still can't explain the magic in it.

Like I said, I have had gram make appearances, and I take notice. But I seem to be stunned sometimes at how poignant her appearances can be.
One time, I was in the basement of my house, trying to organize my cupboard of dishes and house stuff, when I looked at a box. It was of grams strawberry dishes that I got after she had died. I had never used them, and was silently berating myself for not. I felt bad that I had these beautiful dishes, and a handful of years later had yet to use them. I started crying, missing my gram, and I looked up. There on the top shelf was a bag. The rag bag. It had been sitting here for years. I saw a little red square through the plastic, and thought, what IS that?? so I reached up, and pulled it down. That red thing was a little red envelope that gram had made. I opened it up, and inside was a card she had made!! and on the card, was a cardinal sitting on a swing!!!! I was kinda in a weird "what is going on" place, and semi afraid to open the card. But I did. And it said, "Love you, Gram." I can't express how utterly odd this was. My husband agrees it's weird. But I know that was gram. She still is loving me.

Another sighting I want to tell you about happened about 3 years ago. It was a cold and snowy december, and I was not at all feeling in the holiday mood. I had gone a very long time without a cardinal sighting, and had begun to think I was imagining my grams presence. So in a tired mom, not in the holiday mood state, I got through Christmas morning. All my immediate family lives far away, and it was just a hard time being away from them. So after all the hoopla, I was sitting in the kitchen, and she came! Right there in the firebush, now covered in snow. I said hi to her, and the needy part of me got comfort in the fact that it had been very long but gram appeared to me on Christmas. Inspired, I decided to head out to the mailbox to see if I had received any christmas cards. As I got to the end of the drive, the mailman pulled up with a package. I thanked him, and felt bad that he was working on this day, even though the sun was shining on the snow, and it was pretty. I sat the box down and walked to the mailbox as he fiddled in his cab. I got the card out of the box(from day before) and as I turned to walk back, he was driving toward me. He stopped his cab, and said,"if you don't mind?? can you tell me where Ruth street is??" I was so confused. I said "What??" and he said "Ruth street. You know where it is?" I didn't, but I said there was a neighborhood across the highway that it might be in. He thanked me, and left. All I could do was stand there. Stunned.


This Story is Dedicated to: Grandma Ruth Sent From: South Bend, Indiana, -United States,

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Go Back Added 2014/10/04 | Updated 2014/10/07
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